I did know we Americans smile more than many other cultures. I thought it was just that we have more to smile about. We even pepper our emails with punctuation marks arranged to look like sideways smiles or emojis, which I could do without as the emoji page pops up unwanted all the time. But I do appreciate the sentiment.
But I did not understand the significance of the lack of a cultural smile. Yes, I learned one does not make eye contact and follow it up with a friendly smile on the Metro in Paris. Good grief, why not? What harm is there in a smile? If you flash a friendly smile at a four year old in France her mother will pull her closer and whisper something like " Elle est fou." ( she is crazy)
So, yes, I knew it. I just didn't understand it. But Iosef Stemim, a Russian, did a good job explaining the national anti-smile attitude. The way we westerners use a smile, to convey friendliness, to assure the stranger that we are not a threat, to show acceptance...well, Russians call that smile "a dirty smile." It is considered a bad personality trait (!) , it demonstrates dissembling, dishonesty,and deceit, an unwillingness to show your true self. If I smile at a Russian they think I am ridiculing them, perhaps I find amusement in a stain on their shirt or am secretly laughing at them.
For a Russian to smile without reservation there has to be an overt, obvious source of the humor..there is a Russian proverb that says " A laugh without reason is a sign of stupidity." Wow, who knew?
So,you're probably thinking that I don't encounter very many Russians living in north central Florida. Not true! About the time that the old Soviet Union broke up, many Russians fell victim to a local real estate scam and came to this area. In spite of being victimized, many stayed to start new lives. It is not uncommon to run into Russian accented hospital clerks, department store sales people or car service repair technicians. They are polite, efficient, hard workers, but they don't smile a lot.
That's okay. I understand now. But don't expect me to ration my smiles even if it's a one sided transaction.
But I did not understand the significance of the lack of a cultural smile. Yes, I learned one does not make eye contact and follow it up with a friendly smile on the Metro in Paris. Good grief, why not? What harm is there in a smile? If you flash a friendly smile at a four year old in France her mother will pull her closer and whisper something like " Elle est fou." ( she is crazy)
So, yes, I knew it. I just didn't understand it. But Iosef Stemim, a Russian, did a good job explaining the national anti-smile attitude. The way we westerners use a smile, to convey friendliness, to assure the stranger that we are not a threat, to show acceptance...well, Russians call that smile "a dirty smile." It is considered a bad personality trait (!) , it demonstrates dissembling, dishonesty,and deceit, an unwillingness to show your true self. If I smile at a Russian they think I am ridiculing them, perhaps I find amusement in a stain on their shirt or am secretly laughing at them.
For a Russian to smile without reservation there has to be an overt, obvious source of the humor..there is a Russian proverb that says " A laugh without reason is a sign of stupidity." Wow, who knew?
So,you're probably thinking that I don't encounter very many Russians living in north central Florida. Not true! About the time that the old Soviet Union broke up, many Russians fell victim to a local real estate scam and came to this area. In spite of being victimized, many stayed to start new lives. It is not uncommon to run into Russian accented hospital clerks, department store sales people or car service repair technicians. They are polite, efficient, hard workers, but they don't smile a lot.
That's okay. I understand now. But don't expect me to ration my smiles even if it's a one sided transaction.
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