From the dark side we can see a glow of something bright
There's much more than we see here
Don't burn the day away
The Dave Mathews Band
It's 2:45 AM and I am wide awake. I think this is a pattern that I have fallen into. I will toss and turn for fifteen minutes, then do the one thing all sleep counselors advise against - I turn on the TV. The distinctive silver glow illuminates the room, crawls down the stairs and peaks around the window shades, announcing to insomniac neighbors that someone else is not able to sleep.
I fluff three pillows and shore up the mountain of cushions designed to fool my shoulder into thinking I am sleeping on the sofa which has been its bed of choice since breaking my arm. My arm loves the sofa but my back and neck prefer the bed. I mute the sound and begin to scroll up the channels. Familiar faces fill the screen and smile at me like I am an old friend come to visit.
Cindy Crawford will show me the secrets to ageless beauty. It certainly has worked for her. 'No Name' spokesmodels who look seventeen advise me on how to look 30 years younger and air brush techniques will make my wrinkles disappear. If I hate my turkey neck (who doesn't) there are creams for the conservative and LifeLift for the brave. Zumba and the Body Beast will tone my tummy and the 21 Day Fix and Healthy Meals in Minutes will melt pounds away. I can stop hair loss, grow new hair, or manage my lush, thick hair. I can win the fight against cancer or deal with pain and depression. My water can be filtered, the Shark will steam clean the floors. I can vacuum the couches or vacuum pack our food. If I am tired of paying for TV there is someone to show me how to dump my cable provider and I can learn to "flip" a house and make a huge profit.
There's a spray can that turns a screen door into a boat floor. Little cups will hard boil eggs that come out shelled. ( I actually was tempted by that one! ) Body suits make Zumba and the Body Beast superfluous. Skillets let fried eggs slide right off onto the plate and conduction burners boil water in 30 seconds. I can make a chicken dinner in a slow cooker that takes all day or in a pressure fryer in just 20 minutes. It's a miracle.
Or not. Even my sleepy brain recognizes that shipping and handling often costs more than the
item itself. I know nothing can make me look 30 years younger. I am pretty sure that boat is going to sink when they put it in the water. And flipping houses is fraught with risk. I wonder who buys these things. I do know who's awake watching the ads. They should feature a cure for Insomnia! Fact is I already know what to do. Give up and go sleep on the couch!
Archive timeline: 2014: May and June - preparing for surgery, July - surgery and post op problems, August - recovery and physical therapy, September....
I fluff three pillows and shore up the mountain of cushions designed to fool my shoulder into thinking I am sleeping on the sofa which has been its bed of choice since breaking my arm. My arm loves the sofa but my back and neck prefer the bed. I mute the sound and begin to scroll up the channels. Familiar faces fill the screen and smile at me like I am an old friend come to visit.
Cindy Crawford will show me the secrets to ageless beauty. It certainly has worked for her. 'No Name' spokesmodels who look seventeen advise me on how to look 30 years younger and air brush techniques will make my wrinkles disappear. If I hate my turkey neck (who doesn't) there are creams for the conservative and LifeLift for the brave. Zumba and the Body Beast will tone my tummy and the 21 Day Fix and Healthy Meals in Minutes will melt pounds away. I can stop hair loss, grow new hair, or manage my lush, thick hair. I can win the fight against cancer or deal with pain and depression. My water can be filtered, the Shark will steam clean the floors. I can vacuum the couches or vacuum pack our food. If I am tired of paying for TV there is someone to show me how to dump my cable provider and I can learn to "flip" a house and make a huge profit.
There's a spray can that turns a screen door into a boat floor. Little cups will hard boil eggs that come out shelled. ( I actually was tempted by that one! ) Body suits make Zumba and the Body Beast superfluous. Skillets let fried eggs slide right off onto the plate and conduction burners boil water in 30 seconds. I can make a chicken dinner in a slow cooker that takes all day or in a pressure fryer in just 20 minutes. It's a miracle.
Or not. Even my sleepy brain recognizes that shipping and handling often costs more than the
item itself. I know nothing can make me look 30 years younger. I am pretty sure that boat is going to sink when they put it in the water. And flipping houses is fraught with risk. I wonder who buys these things. I do know who's awake watching the ads. They should feature a cure for Insomnia! Fact is I already know what to do. Give up and go sleep on the couch!
Archive timeline: 2014: May and June - preparing for surgery, July - surgery and post op problems, August - recovery and physical therapy, September....
Oh, dear.....
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